| 1. | British Teeth | ||
|
Bad teeth synonomous with the British people, but actually seen in all peoples. Characterized by poor othodonture and caries (decaying teeth).
Dane Cook's description of bad teeth describes British teeth very well: "If a girl opens her lips and its all *Flingk FlIngK FliNgK FlinGk* if its like a booby trap, I don't like it when you open your mouth and its a battle of epic proportions goin on, and your teeth are all screamin' at each other in there. "I'm a molar, Wisdom tooth! Get the fuck outta my gums. Hi I'm a buck tooth and like to be outside past the lips. I enjoy a nice sea breeze from time to time...Hi I'm the crazy yellow toof that looks like corn. Don't brush me.Don't brush me. I have an image to uphold, don't brush me, I'm yellow." Synonyms: Picket Fence, Mouth of Horrors She's a babe, but she needs to keep that mouth closed and those British teeth inside the house.
|
|||
| 2. | the mighty boosh | ||
|
a comedy more addictive than drugs written by noel fielding and julian barratt who star in it as vince noir (rock n roll star) and howard moon (jazz maverick)
also stars dave brown dean learner mike fielding rich fulcher and many others (enclusing bands like robots in disguise and razorlight) there is a radio series tv series a live tour and eventually there will be a film its so much funnier than little britian because it doesn't use the same jokes over and over again, it has new outlandish characters every episode (pretty much all of them played by noel or julian) and is simply just a lot funnier! it also has a lot of music in it which is always good some people won't get it and just think its 'silly' but they're missing out! its charming, witty and the best comedy ever written clip from the mighty boosh:
*howard moon is fishing on black lake finally he catched something - old greg, half man half fish* old gregg- hi there howard- who are you im old greg pleased to meet ya h- what do you want? og- maybe i should ask you the same question? what you doing in my waters? h- just taking the ari you no... not fishing! og -well then how comes this hooks in my head fool? h- its nothing to do with me sir og- its attached to ur rod mutha lika! h- dont kill me.. iv got so much to give og- easy now fuzzy little man peach, ever drunk bailyes from a shoe? h- *whimpering*..what? og- wanna go to a club where people wee on eachother h- ..no og- im gonna hurt you h- excuse me? og- i like you...what do you think of me? h- i don't really no sir.. og- MAKE AN ASSESMENT h-i think your a nice modern gentleman og-'don't lie to me boy! h- *almost crying im not lying og- i no what u thinkin, here comes old greg - hes a scaley man fish u dont no me u dont no what i got, i got something to show you...thats gregs vagina! i got a mangina! im olg greeeeeg' oooh i'll stop there |
|||
| 3. | I really hate to slip but I gotta lop | ||
|
I really hate to go but I gotta move on I really hate to slip but I gotta lop
more...
Slip 1. to move, flow, pass, or go smoothly or easily; glide; slide: Water slips off a smooth surface. 2. to slide suddenly or involuntarily; to lose one's foothold, as on a smooth surface: She slipped on the icy ground. 3. to move, slide, or start gradually from a place or position: His hat had slipped over his eyes. 4. to slide out of or become disengaged from a fastening, the grasp, etc.: The soap slipped from my hand. 5. to pass without having been acted upon or used; be lost; get away: to let an opportunity slip. 6. to pass from the mind, memory, or consciousness. 7. to elapse or pass quickly or imperceptibly (often fol. by away or by): The years slipped by. 8. to become involved or absorbed easily: to slip into a new way of life. 9. to move or go quietly, cautiously, or unobtrusively: to slip out of a room. 10. to put on or take off a garment easily or quickly: She slipped on the new sweater. He slipped off his shoes. 11. to make a mistake or error: As far as I know, you haven't slipped once. 12. to fall below a standard or accustomed level, or to decrease in quantity or quality; decline; deteriorate: His work slipped last year. 13. to be said or revealed inadvertently (usually fol. by out): The words just slipped out. 14. to read, study, consider, etc., without attention: He slipped over the most important part. 15. Aeronautics. (of an aircraft when excessively banked) to slide sideways... |
|||
| 4. | Tom Burgess | ||
|
A new trend invented by a middle school in britain, which is
two words a person usually shouts when squirting someone with water. Usually in a corridor, a classroom (when a teacher isn't looking), a toliet or a playground. Equipment Needed: A Full Water Bottle, with a twist-off cap. A Compass (or any, small sharp point.) To perform a 'Tom Burgess', you fill your bottle with water, screw on the lid, pierce the middle of the lid with a compass, to make a small hole in the middle. Hide somewhere random, like behind a bush or in a toliet cubicle. Select your victim, leapt out of your hiding place holding the bottle and screaming 'TOM BURGEEEEES' while squeezing the bottle so water shoots out the tiny hole, drenching them with water. Aim for the crotch area, to make it look like they've wet themselves. Tom Burgess is also a character from Antony Horowitzes non-fictional childrens sci-fi thriller novel, 'Ravens Gate'. He is a farmer who got killed mysterious in the story. Nobody knows why 'TOM BURGEEEES' is shouted when performing this stunt, but its pretty funny. Boy1: Harry just went up to me and squirted water all over me, and shouted 'TOM BURGEESSS'.
Boy2: AHAHAHAH you just got Tom Burgessed! |
|||
| 5. | Limey | ||
|
A term used to describe an English man or more generally a British citizen. Contrary to popular believe this proud nation of people don’t all have bad dental work or speak the Queens English but are probably one of the last countries on earth that don’t despise the Americans. The US owe its very existence to England/UK and without Britain that whole area would probably be some Spanish speaking shit hole like much of the rest of America. If you are going to comment on a country make sure you’ve been there or have ever left your own country at least. By the way no one says “old bean,” “Crikey” or “old chap” in Britain. In closing if you live on the west coast of America there is a good chance that you have some English or British blood in you. Highly skilled at losing wars - I think America could be put in that bracket too. Did he just call me a Limey, that one of the worst comebacks ever.
|
|||
| 6. | Accrington | ||
|
Accrington could be used as a dictionary example of a shithole. I6t is trapped between the majestic beauty of Blackburn and Burnley, both of which deserve greater recognition. Blackburn had the recent honour of being voted one of the ten grimmest towns in the northwest and Burnley is one of the only towns to have BNP (British National Party~~ formerly the British Nazi Party) councillors. Most of the denizens of Accrington are Townies, elsewhere known as Scallies Chavs and Pikeys. Consequently there is an impressively large JJB, and the All Sports gets a lot of business. The Market is also the place to go to get Bling and there is an impressive quantity of Jewellers who trade of the magpie like qualities off Townies (attracted to shiny and tacky things). Accrington has the some of the worst health care, the lowest numbers of students going into higher education and an impressive crime rate. A lot of this can be explained by the fact that house prices in Accrington are among the lowest in the country; therefore you can assume it’s the only place where these “people” can afford to live. The only places that can beat Accrington are its suburbs - unlike in most cities where the worst place is the inner city, Accrington has merged into the surrounding towns infecting them like a cancer. Only Baxenden has escaped. Ironically one of its neighbours is the Ribble Valley, which is the reverse in every way. Everyone with sense from Accy (as it is locally known) ends up there if they c... more...
|
|||
| 7. | the world | ||
|
A place of inequalities.
more...
The world as it is recognised in the early 21st century could be largely said to be shaped by the British (completely honest opinion said in a non-jingoistic fashion!). No matter what I define it as, somebody will disagree with it - which in itself is an action which could help define *the world*. The world today consists of many things I don't like. Too many to list and none of them appear to take particular precedence. However - words like precedence, patrotism, recall, and frustration come high on the list as they remind me of America and the way in which Americans say them; and I can barely bring myself to type its acronym consisting of three letters as it symbolises all that aggrevates me in *the world*. The accent is piercing and just unbarable, whilst the people of *the world's* last remaining superpower are as thick as fuckin shit. Its culture consists of celebrity and nothing else. In fact it's involved in every other English speaking country's existence that it drives the inhabitants wild with rage - you think the Arabic world aren't fond of fuckin America - they should look at their *allies* or fuckin *coalition* or whatever the bastards have named it. Nonetheless, these are my opinions in MY world - and nothing more. |
|||
