Used by the very first commenter on a blog or forum to show they beat everyone else to comment first
1st Commenter: "FIRST!"
2nd Commenter: "Omg you are so lame no one cares if you are first congrats on your non-prize winning first comment."
Rule 41 of the internet: No matter what it is it is someone's fetish. No Exceptions.
(facebook status) OMG!!! I love Disney Movies!!!
(commenter one) Rule 41.
(OP's comment) ???
(commenter two) that's sick...
A low-class member of the internet comment brigade. Derived from intertube and youtube combined with the fact that many tubers seem to have roughly the intelligence and shape of a potato, this being a different kind of tuber. Tubers can generally be recognized by the fact that their comments bear little to no relevance to the subject at hand.
News article: "The Norwegian election may have been rigged."
Tuber 1: "how do i post coments?"
Tuber 2: "the REAL problem with this country is the two party system that allows for rigging!"
Tuber 3: "TELL EVERYONE THAT ASHLEY IS A TWO TIMING WHORE"
Internet users who post, en mass, mostly-useless comments on online articles.
This term particularly refers to users who post comments on articles which not the kind of articles which require any analysis. The articles generally come in 2 types: (1) articles about superficial topics (such as: entertainment, celebrity) that aren't important enough to comment on. And (2) articles where the general opinion about the article is obvious so there is no need to state it.
Comment cattle are usually the kind of people that like to hear themselves talk, and are generally less intelligent than the average internet user. One of the ironies about comment cattle is that they usually post comments on articles to point out how stupid other people are.
Some savvy internet users now create viral stories to draw in comment cattle, such as the girl who supposedly got a tattoo on her arm after dating her boyfriend for only one week - even though it turned out to be a hoax. Even some legitimate news sites write articles which are particularly designed to bring out comment cattle - "The Huffington Post" and "Yahoo" are two examples.
EXAMPLE 1 - An article about Jenifer Aniston buying new shoes:
Commenter #1: "This article is stupid. Why do they even publish this?"
Commenter #2: "Because it brings out the comment cattle. Like you."
EXAMPLE 2 - An article about a mom who sold her kids for a Big Mac:
Commenter #1: "Burn in hell."
Commenter #2: "I can't believe a mother would do this."
Commenter #987: "She doesn't deserve to be a mother!"
A derivation of Occam's Razor applicable in internet comment threads. When interpreting an existing comment, the comment should be liberally interpreted in whatever way leads to the funniest reply comment.
Original Comment: "I want to get the number 2 tattooed on my back so the guy behind me knows what place he's coming in."
Choice of assumptions:
1) the guy behind commenter is coming in place #2 in a race.
2) the guy behind commenter is coming in place #2 on her body.
Fatuity's Razor requires the selection of assumption #2.
Sample Sentence: "Choose your words carefully, because those assholes will apply Fatuity's Razor and turn benign comments into jokes at your expense."
A person with an uncontrollable urge to mention the Call Of Duty series on all corners of the internet and even most plain's of existence. Cod Haters are often times more annoying than the fans of the series bringing up Cod on videos, forums, etc, comparing cod to completely unrelated video games, for example, Fallout 3, Guild Wars, Skyrim, Metro 2033, Pong, Flower, and every other video game video on youtube.
This is an actual comment thread on the metro 2033 review by Gamespot.more...
commenter#1 Lol what a retard.
Commenter #2 If you do not wanna look like a retard what are you responding about? Don't just say "Lol what a retard".
Commenter #1 But you are mate.
Your comment is completlly retarded and makes no sense,so how do I reply?
You don't try to reason with a guy that comes up to you and starts talking crazy shit now do you?
You're being ignorat for posting that comment,and thinking that it's posiblle to reply to that piece of shit comment with any sort inteligence or reason.
You deserve none.
commenter #2.Either you are mentally handicapped or just stupid.
2. I was trying to say that Metro 2033 was better than Call of Duty (but of course everything is better than Call of Duty)
3.Please tell me how I am being "Ignorant" you can not be ignorant of a personal opinion about something.
4. Welcome to the internet.
You're not sharing your opinion you piece of shit,you're just raging on a game and IGN for no reason.
THEY DIDN'T MENTION COD IN THIS REVIEW ONCE, but you still leave a comment about it,like a good little troll.
There are a milion people that leave the same exact comment on IGN reviews,and you thinking that anyone gives a shit what you think about Cod makes me laugh you fucking moron. If you dont like cod,dont play it. Simple. Cod haters
Welcome to common sense you piece of shit
(n) an internet troll.
(n) A person who trolls the internet looking for ways to offend people for his enjoyment so he can choke the chicken.
This person can be easily be identified as being antisocial, of low moral character and uneducated.
Is this guy an idiot or what? (laughing while pointing at a comment on the internet)
Oh man, pay no attention to him. Thats a tehwelorg. Its his job to play the stupid internet commenter.