|1.||in the crawl space|
The closeted virgin's analog to a gay person's "in the closet". "Crawl space" because it's an even smaller and oft forgotten room in the house, thus being a virgin is even more ignoble than being gay. Also apt for virgins because "crawl" is descriptive of a virgin's infant state of sexuality.
Cal: You know, Andy just spent ten minutes telling me how he spent all Friday night making egg salad, because he had a craving for an egg salad sandwich.
Jay: That's weird man, cause what's a guy doin' making egg salad on a Friday night? Aw crap! You think he's a virgin?!! You think he's...in the crawl space?!