human bidet is that special class of creature that feels the need to prostrate themself behind bosses, managers, social higher ups such that they give an extra ass cleaning, far beyond the normal ass kissing. Human bidets are close relatives but much luckier than human urinals, who constantly get pissed on by everyone.
That idiot got promoted ahead of me. He wouldn't have got this far if he wasn't such a human bidet!
by EvilSchmoo June 21, 2005
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Using the face, mouth and tongue to clean someone’s ass after taking a dump. Sometimes referred to human toilet paper or htp. It described to be very arousing and once someone has properly experienced this event they dont want it any other. Can be recorded being a common practice with concubines.
She is sooo hot I wish I could be her human bidet.
by Tina’s December 17, 2021
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When someone spits saliva or urine into another persons butthole.
Make sure you use the human bidet after you take a dump.
by BeBuc May 1, 2011
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