Top Definition
A form of 80's teenybopper music made primarily by effeminate men wearing makeup and dressed like women, with stereotypical 80's big hair. After an initial wave of it fizzled out in 1987, it resurfaced just a couple of years later with a short-lived new breed of even lamer bands. Success in hair metal was primarily achieved through placing primary importance on the ability to pose for the camera, and comprising your band with simpletons with little or no musical ability, much less creativity. Once the formula was in place, it was just a matter of finding gullible losers to buy into the swindle. MTV, which started out as a music television channel, obliged, making this subgenre of wimp rock popular at the time. Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of hair metal was it's juvenile lyrics. Never intentionally bad, the lyrical wasteland was a direct result of the limited intellectual capacities of the band members.
Hair metal was made popular by bands like Poison, Warrant, Winger, Slaughter, White Lion, Trixter, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Kix, and the Bulletboys.
by Axl Gump November 03, 2006
37 more definitions
Gay,horrible music.
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The only redeeming thing about it was the guitar solo because that's when the terrible singing stopped for a little while.
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Started in LA by men with mullets who were only in it for the groupies,alcohol,meth and cocaine.
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The men were all cross-dressers and resembled and took on the characteristics of their groupies to the point where other bands who were looking for groupies to fuck often mistook a band of hair metallers for a sixpack of groupie whores.
Beavis: whoa these chicks are hot
Butthead: are these chicks or dudes?
Beavis: whoa,I don't know
Butthead: well they better be chicks dammit because they're giving me a woody
::::
Example doesn't use the word hair metal. Use the word in a sentence.
by FUCK METAL October 09, 2005
Music made by and for the hypocritical , full-of-shit , "happy-go-lucky" selfish assholes that modern society breeds. Isn't it funny how the majority of everyone of Hair-"Metal"'s supporters here could not go about defining it without making some sort of crude comment regarding grunge ? This "music" is what often gives "metal" a bad name making people associate it with "badassery" , being total assholes, caring only for themselves and their family/friends (which in my opinion is no different than caring for oneself),those who are violent for boastful intents, and sheer idiocy. This music truly is all about the beer/action/bitches regardless of whether that is the stereotype applied to it. It gives bad names to Thrash metal , and generally listeners of this genre brand other subcategories of metal such as Death "psychotic" , "twisted and sadistic" or something of that nature , when they cannot see that their own lifestyles based solely on greed and personal acquisition/gain are a twisted form of apathetic...bitchiness. Those who "live" by the hair metal code can go fuck their ego-inflated avarice-ridden bloated asses on a plate of scorching coals.
Hair Metal guy:Hey punk, what you tryin to pull with my woman ?
Person who bumped into girl on accident: Sorry, It was an accident =/.
Hair Metal guy: You layin your hand on my woman ! I'm gonna kick your ass !!!
Person : Dude it was an accident...sorry.
Hair Metal guy : (starts beating on person for no apparent reason)
Karma : * Hair metal jerkoff is engulfed in flames and slowly and painfully burns to death while razor-sharp rapiers slowly tear through his weak flesh as a gigantic hand crushes his thick skull*
Person: haha , fucker.
Karma : ^_^. Kthxbai.
by ThrasherZero December 30, 2004
A genre of metal/rock/pop which was popular in the 80's. Composed of skeezy, animal-print-clad men with big hair and armadillos stuffed in their pants. The lyrics contain various combinations of "rock", "babe", "tonite", "love" and bringin' various things to you all night long. Somehow still manages to attract a lot of hate despite that it hasn't been relevant or popular since 1990. More fun and addictive than your average metal snob will care to admit. Contrary to popular belief, some hair bands do, indeed, suck less than others.
"Dude, I went to this awesome hair metal concert last night! Dokken and Quiet Riot were playing!"

"Those bands still exist? Damn."
by StupidBunny December 02, 2013
All you hair-metal haters can suck ass, because people actually had talent in hair metal bands!

For instance, Motley Crue KICKED ASS. Motley Crue sounded the EXACT SAME on stage as they did on their cds-THATS MOTHERFUCKIN TALENT

They sang about all emotions, mostley happiness, while grunge didn`t have half as creative tunes as they did.

Good thing Vh1 is bringing the 80`s back, if not, I`d go insane
Guns N Roses, Motley Crue, Poison, Warrant, should I go on?
by Adrienne the Axl Fan January 17, 2005
a music genre that ruined the name of good old classic rock leading to other genres such as metal,pop rockalso stealing and ruining the name of good old classic rock. go watch the movie almost famous.
-dude i saw these two guys with long hair in tight pants yelling.
- those are hair metal fans lets go kick their asses
by jim morrison rules October 09, 2006
another terrible subgenre
can't tell one band from the next
they all sound exactly the same (LIKE SHIT)
The men in hair metal all looked like women.
by fucking wankers October 07, 2005

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