The official rules of getting some versus getting nothing are as follows:
1. Butt sex counts
2. Getting oral sex: good enough to spoil your virginity, not enough to be impressive
3. Being on the other end of oral (without getting anything else) is almost the same, but just makes you seem desperate.
4. Hookers count.
Tom: Look, there's a hooker down on the corner.
Bob: I am all over that.