| 1. | Full-Tard | ||
|
See also half-tard and quarter-tard. A full-tard is one who has 100% retard blood coarsing through their brains. This can mean two things. Half the time, the person will be born a retard, with limited brain capacity and other problems. The other half of the time, the person will slip through the nets of schooling and manage to finish some amount of their life with everyone thinking they are normal. However, eventually their blood will mature and they will begin acting like a retard. While they have adapated to society (see evolution) they still do not process the brain power to function without failure. They will constantly do stupid things. Guy 1: "Look at Gillis making that pizza. He's actually having trouble."
Guy 2: "Dude, Gillis is a fucking full-tard. He can't help it." Guy 1: "Ah. Fucker." |
|||
| 2. | Quarter-Tard | ||
|
One who is similar to a half-tard but has even less retard blood in their system. They can almost always function normally in society, and only fall prey to their heritage once in a while (usually one time a month). Quarter is to represent 1/4 of retard blood, so in reality they are 3/4 smart. It is the closest possible to being non-tarded that those with retard blood can get. The opposite is a full-tard Guy 1: "Whoa. Did you hear? Dan got his nipples pierced!"
Guy 2: "Fuck. What a goddamn quarter-tard." Guy 1: "Aye." |
|||
| 3. | post-tard | ||
|
Someone who has gone from pretard to full retard and come full circle to being 'normal' again. A person who used to be incapable of normal life functions, but now is considered stable. Few people actually make the progression to post-tard. Post-tards are few and far between, but they exist. Bill Clinton, Whitney Houston, Charlie Sheen
Whitney Houston is the classic example of a post-tard because of her drug-related past and her re-entering into normal society. |
|||
| 4. | /b/tard | ||
|
Shortened form of bastard. Used when one is too lazy to use full word, or when full word would be inapropriate. that stupid /b/tard doesn't know about the rules 1 and 2
|
|||
| 5. | Maxtard (Full retard mode) | ||
|
Maxtard is a short version of a maximal retard, a retarded retard. Max-tard. This word is depraved from the saying ''Full retard'' wich was mentioned in the movie ''Tropic Thunder'', where someone made a very stupid movie and a man gave him advice to never go full retard. In short: Never go full retard.. Man1: ''You went full retard. Never go full retard.''
Guy1: ''Oh my god, did you see John totally act stupid when drunk and get hated by all the girls?'' Guy2: ''Yeah, he's so maxtarded, going full retard is always bad.'' Guy3: ''Maxtard (Full retard mode) is such a lame word, you guys.'' |
|||
| 6. | fuck'tard | ||
|
An abbreviated combination of the words:
"Fucking"+"Retard". (NOUN-proper)= Fuck'Tard: A slow to git it type person AND when they DO GIT it, still fucks it up; an individual makin' stoopid mistakes when they know better but did't really think it through-And as this individual is in the process of executing this mistake, they can see it revealing itself as a mistake in slo-mo, thus makin' them worthy of the title... (VERB-past tense)= fuck'tarded or fucked'tard: messing up BIG TIME after they think they git it but really don't cuz they misunderstood and went ahead n DID IT anyways without full comprehension of the sitiation; Too Gung-Ho to thoroughly understand an issue or too arrogant to admit they did't understand but think they understand a situation, jumping in head-first to tackle the issue but screwin' it up even more, thus creating a dominoe chain of effects in making one mistake after another, unable to recover nicely. (NOUN-proper): TD asked the producer 3 times about the change, put the automation cue in for the reporter's tape, then missed the roll cue, hit the "TAKE" button anyways and ended up rolling a 5 second open to the wrong pitch reel as the reporter was tossing back to the anchor. What a Fuck'Tard!
(VERB-past tense): The above TD saw that the video for the reporter didn't match but hit the "TAKE" button anyways becuz they were lost and couldn't adjust quickly enough to just skip it. They FREAKED under PRESSURE! AND as they hit the button to execute this command to wipe to tape, the 5 second open seemed like 30 seconds slo-mo'd in their mind and everyone elses' as it was happenin'. When the wrong video revealed underneath, they realized they had just fuck'tarded a series of bad moves AND NOW, there would be HELL for everyone to pay when the nasty memos concerning this uncanny on-air mistake poured forth. Thanks, Fuck'Tard! NOW, EVERYONE SUFFERS from the low moral your mistake has set in motion with all the nasty finger-pointing! |
|||
| 7. | tard farmer | ||
|
1. Someone who participates in tard farming, which is the action of having a job where you deal with a lot of stupid and braindead people at any given point in time who are not your coworkers (note: working in an office full of idiots is called "misfortune", not tard farming). 2. When you are amongst a whole lot of stupid people whom you pointedly don't want to interact with, but they keep coming up to you, anyway. Consequently, they will not go away until you answer their questions or verbally beat them into a bigger oblivion than the one they've known. 1. I swear, sitting at this fucking desk and dealing with inbred hordes of college kids who will never go anywhere in life makes me feel like a tard farmer.
2. Dude, he works for the City University of New York. Natural born tard farmer, if you ask me. |
|||
