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1.
"A process in which fuel is supplied to an engine via a pump, nozzles, and a computerized control module. This system has mostly replaced the carburetor, a much simpler mechanical device found in any car worth owning."
Person 1: "Fuel Injection is so much more reliable than carburetors."

Person 2: "Uhh, okay. Is that why your car has been to the shop three times and the 'check engine' light is still on?"

Person 1: "It was just a bad sensor."

Person 2: "How much did it cost to fix?"

Person 1: "$238."

Person 2: "I could replace the entire fuel system on my car for $238."

Person 1: "But..."

Person 2: "No."

Person 1: "I was..."

Person 2: "NO! YOU WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY 1972 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL! (holds lincoln keychain in face)

Person 1: "AAAAH! IT BURNS!"

Person 2: "THE POWER OF GOD COMPELLS YOU!

Person 1: "NOOO! (black vomit) (convulsions)

Person 2: "Damn, you must've worked at a dealership."

Person 1: " '75 LTD coupe convertible?"

Person 2: "Now you're talking."
by Mick O'Neill December 04, 2006