1. An avid trekkie who teaches World History on the side.
2. A man who adopts little kids from other countries.
3. A reincarnation of Ben Stein who also enjoys spending time in historical reenactments.
4. Ryan Seacrest after a few years in hell.
Gretel: DUDE. I totally failed that test on the Roman Empire today!
Hansel: ZOMG me tooooo.
Gretel: Ugh, I'm starting to get the feeling our teacher is a Fryman.
Hansel: You might be right...I saw some latex ears in his filing cabinet.
Gretel: Well maybe you could brown-nose your way out of it by throwin' up a Live Long and Prosper!
Hansel: Oh my! That sounds like a plan!