Top Definition
a dirty johan is an explicit sexual act which occurs when a man and a woman are engaged in intercourse, two German midgets (one named Johan) enter and defocate on the females chest and facial areas. Shortly after, the men smear the fecal matter into specific patterns, replicating a German adapatation of the Karma Sutra. After the traditional smearing and design, the German midget circle the female while chanting the German word for shit, or "shizer". To finalize the ceremonial tradition, the woman subsequently engages in intercourse with both the original male and both German midgets. It is mandated in German tradition that consumation of the tradition only occurs when the woman has all three parties participating in simultaneous penetration.
During my trip through Eastern Europe, I was absolutely delighted by my experience at one particular brothel. At this place of business, was when I first experienced the dirty johan. At first, I was slightly apprehensive. However, I must say the German men were terrific and to be honest, I've never seen anything quite as breath taking as a woman, covered in feces, begging for rougher anal, vaginal and oral penetration. Needless to say, I was quite pleased. Oh and by the way, this brothel was in a small corner of South Eastern Berlin. I can provide the name of the place if necessary. Happy hunting my fellow noble men!
by dubz13 June 15, 2010

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