A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.
"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"
by Joni-K July 6, 2016
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When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.
Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.
by poopbutter July 12, 2013
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Typically a late night snack undertaken just because you can and to no one is around to stop you. Alternatively it may refer to your partner refusing a Buttered Crumpet.
Just got warm in bed when I needed to wee so went to make a hot water bottle because I was freezing and now made Protest Crumpets because I needed them for the affront of standing in the cold kitchen.
by Myersrum February 15, 2022
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When a British man nuts between a British girl's ass and she twerks it up her back
Man: I just gave me girlfriend a British Crumpet Clapper
Other man:Wtf is wrong with you
by May 14, 2021
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Any depressing fact about Donald Trump that you must digest.
How many Donald Crumpets are in one newspaper?
by Ereck Flowers October 23, 2018
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The act of finger poppin another mans ass hole with the doors locked and the lights off
Aye! Are you in there toasting the crumpets with another man?
by Hans00 July 13, 2015
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