Chuck Norris: 'nough said
by XyessireebobX April 2, 2011
by Cat with A Bowtie March 16, 2015
The manliest person on earth
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
One bad-ass son of a bitch, this man kicks anyone and everyones ass, so don't get on his bad side mother fucker.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris isn't God but he can beat him at golf.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is so amazing don't fuck with him bitch
Chuck Norris isn't God but he can beat him at golf.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is so amazing don't fuck with him bitch
by FAS7 187 January 19, 2011
Chuck saw you read this. Chuck doesn't know who the are. Just kidding. He who find you. And he will kill you.
by brosiog November 1, 2014
A misunderstood man, he's a great actor. But for some reason everyone hates him on the internet. Mainly because of the jokes of him on there, but people have to realize that he didn't make em. Random people did, so stop hating on him. Cause he's a great actor, martial artist and man.
Dumbfuck: "I hate chuck Norris because of his jokes on the internet."
Smart person: "you know he doesn't make them y'know?"
Dumbfuck: "fuck you I still hate him"
Smart person: "what a fucking dumb fuck"
Smart person: "you know he doesn't make them y'know?"
Dumbfuck: "fuck you I still hate him"
Smart person: "what a fucking dumb fuck"
by Chuck Norris August 13, 2014
1 First Chuck made heaven & earth 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of the beard was moving over the face of the waters. 3 And Chuck said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 4 And Chuck saw that the light was good; and Chuck separated the light from the darkness. 5 Chuck Norris called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day. 6 And Chuck said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." 7 And Chuck made the firmament and separated the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And it was so. 8 And Chuck called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. 9 And Norris said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. 10 Chuck Norris called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And Chuck saw that it was good. 11 And Chuck Norris said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And Chuck saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, a third day. 14 And Chuck said, "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth." And it was so. 16 And Chuck Norris made the two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also. 17 And Chuck set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And Chuck saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day. 20 And Chuck Norris said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens." 21 So Chuck created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And Chuck Norris saw that it was good. 22 And Chuck blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." 23 And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day. 24 And Chuck said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds." And it was so. 25 And Chuck made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And Chuck Norris saw that it was good. 26 Then Chuck said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth." 27 So Chuck created man in his own image, in the image of Chuck Norris he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And Chuck blessed them with beards and fists of fury, and Chuck said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." 29 And Chuck Norris said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so. 31 And Chuck saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.
by Criteria January 4, 2009