barry time

A measurement of existence that would baffle Galileo Galilei. One warps into this time frame, too late to turn back. The turn of events cannot be recreated the same way twice. Involved is a Barry, not just the common Barry, found under the hood of a vehicle making it better. Easily spotted: shirtless or wearing a neon safety vest, muddy cowboy boots, grease covered, a googly eyed floozy popping out from the shadows. They love when he tips his hat and gives a Southern wink of his eye. He says, "Stay right there, I'll right back", and some wait days, afraid to go piss in fear of missing his return. On Barry Time, what takes an hour, with a quick blink and a tilted "What the fuck just happened" expression on one's face and Poof! two days have flown by! "What were we thinking" moments and "How did we survive that" memories guaranteed. Consider bringing: beverage, popcorn, tools, portable chargers, and a pocket knife (or three). Cancel your agenda for the days after to recover from WTF Whiplash and to ease your muscles from pushing a vehicle at some point or climbing in, on, over, or under a vehicle. Side effects in back to back occurrences are not yet studied, but as a first hand survivor I suggest spacing them out. To avoid reoccurrence, watch for an onset of feelings like being untouchable, invincible, or overly excited like a juvenile delinquent. Not just women, men too are subject to his Texas smile and silver tongue. The White Rabbit ain't got shit on Barry.

Floozy #1: Have you seen Barry?

Floozy#2: He should be right back, he left three days ago.

Floozy #1: So you're saying there's a chance!? I'll wait right here with you!

Barry Time Survivor #1: Look at them sack chasers over there ha ha, they're on Barry Time now.

Barry Time Survivor #2: Ha ha I know right, let's go to Winstar. They'll be okay till we get back.

Barry Time Survivor #1: Yup, and hey! Maybe they'll have the yard cleaned up by then too!

by SinisterStorm September 9, 2019