Advanced Awkward Turtle
Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.
First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.
Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.
Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.
First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.
Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.
Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.
Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.
A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.
Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.
Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.
A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.
Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.
by Bubba Franks Man March 12, 2009
Describes the state of constantly being in "awkward turtle" mode; suspecting oneself of being the cause of many awkward moments many times per day.
Girl: It's the first time I kissed a boy, but our braces got stuck together for two hours. Then his dad - who's a Baptist pastor - found us together in his room with our lips locked. We finally got unstuck because his dad ripped us apart. Then in walking home, a escaped monkey pantsed me, and a tourist saw the latter part and looked at me like I was crazy. Then I tripped on a rock and fell into the arms of this really hot guy (with my pants still down).
Other Girl: Man, you got some major awkward turtle mojo goin' on.
Other Girl: Man, you got some major awkward turtle mojo goin' on.
by Awkward Turtle Mojo! May 31, 2010
A rare selective group comprised of the dankest meme masters who often find themselves acting like awkward turtles.
Dang, I wish I was a part of the awkward turtle squad. Too bad it's only Dirty Dank Darrel and Dirty Dank Daisy...
by Dirty Dank Daisy November 29, 2015
a way to show that you find the situation sexually tense or awkward, in which you place both hands infront of you, palms down, one on top of the other, and stroke the lower one with the upper one while twirling your thumbs.
See awkward turtle.
See awkward turtle.
Tim: Did you hear about Brenda?
Jim: Yeah, She said she couldnt cook for shit, and then her crush asked her if she sucked!
Tim: yeah dude, that is seriously awkward turtle
Jim:Sexually awkward turtle! *does the turtle sign*
Jim: Yeah, She said she couldnt cook for shit, and then her crush asked her if she sucked!
Tim: yeah dude, that is seriously awkward turtle
Jim:Sexually awkward turtle! *does the turtle sign*
by daisy jesse May 30, 2007
Like the awkward turtle , but used when the situation is made even more awkward by further input either by yourself or someone else in the conversaton.
You make the same turtle hand formation as before, but make your hand turtle take a dive.
You make the same turtle hand formation as before, but make your hand turtle take a dive.
Bill: (jokingly says) Hey, don't give me herpes!
Jill: I can't give you herpes unless they flare up
Bill: ....*Awkward turtle*
Jack: (truthfully says) I have herpes too, and no it can't be spread unless you have visible sores
Bill: .....*Awkward turtle dive*
Jill: I can't give you herpes unless they flare up
Bill: ....*Awkward turtle*
Jack: (truthfully says) I have herpes too, and no it can't be spread unless you have visible sores
Bill: .....*Awkward turtle dive*
by Patty Pat Pat January 13, 2008
this happens when a situation is so awkward if the turtles weren't flying they would cut the tension and all hell would break lose. However, if the tension is cut an immediate mob of more flying turtles, awkward turkeys, awkward peacocks and regular awkward turtles start to surround the situation. If there is a silence from the awkward situation for longer than 5-10 seconds then a giant Awkward killing shark comes along and eats everything in one bite, thus returning everything back to normal.
I was buying condoms in the sex isle at the store the other day, and my girlfriends dad walked up and started having a conversation with me about her. When he saw what i was buying, flying awkward turtles started to swarm above me. Eventually they cut the tension and then a mob of turkeys, peacocks and more turtles started to swarm. The awkward killing shark never came...
by G-money777 May 17, 2011
a delicious and nutritious, yet extremely awkward snack, created by shaniqua and bonfufu.
consisting of: awkward chocolate, awkward caramel, awkward nuts, and to top it all off, AWKWARD SALT,the king of awkwardness.
consisting of: awkward chocolate, awkward caramel, awkward nuts, and to top it all off, AWKWARD SALT,the king of awkwardness.
Shaniqua: "man, did you taste that salty awkward turtle?"
Bonfufu: "Nah, I was too busy workin' that pole."
Bonfufu: "Nah, I was too busy workin' that pole."
by Bonfufu&Shaniqua INC. December 31, 2009