ass in the bag 

A sure thing, especially when referring to a sexual conquest or goal.

Zaphod's got nothing to worry about with that bar maid, she's ass in the bag.

ass in the bag by Pookasydi October 21, 2008

eating ass in the bag 

to fuck up in a major way!! and be real sad about it afterward

consists of overthinking, crying, and lots of self-pity/ hatred

UGH fuck dude, I accidentally messed up my hookup. I'm seriously eating ass in the bag.

My boyfriend broke up with me last fall because I kissed another boy at a party. I was really eating ass in the bag back then.

eating ass in the bag by secisfun January 26, 2021

Bagel in the ass

Whenever you get pulled over and given a ticket.

Person 1: Aw man, I just got given a ticket for goin' 126 miles per hour in a school zone.
Person 2: Oof, that police officer just put a bagel in the ass.

Bagel in the ass by BigDog823 November 2, 2019