Occurs when a female thrusts her pelvis forcefully and repeatedly into the face of someone performing cunnilingus on her, causing rapid collisions of her pubic bone and the muff diver's face (and thus crudely emulating a jackhammer). These violent collisions may result in bruising of the victim's face and, in particularly violent cases, broken bones. The Albuquerque jackhammer usually occurs inadvertently as a result of extreme ecstasy felt by the female, and in such cases she is either unaware of the violent motions she is carrying out or aware of them but unable to stop or control them. In rare cases an Albuquerque jackhammer may be carried out intentionally by a woman, usually to seek revenge on an ex-lover whom she has seduced into performing cunnilingus on her under the false pretense that they have become fuck buddies. In such cases of revenge, the female will usually trap the unsuspecting victim in a headlock with her thighs, so as to enable a merciless rain of blows upon his face without him escaping.
"Jesus, John! Your face is so horribly bruised! What happened?"
"Well, I saw Sarah last night at a bar, and she came up to me and said she still had feelings for me and wanted to be fuck buddies. Naturally, I obliged, and the next thing I know she has me in a headlock with her thighs giving me an Albuquerque jackhammer! I was in the ER all night."
"Good God, man."
"Well, I saw Sarah last night at a bar, and she came up to me and said she still had feelings for me and wanted to be fuck buddies. Naturally, I obliged, and the next thing I know she has me in a headlock with her thighs giving me an Albuquerque jackhammer! I was in the ER all night."
"Good God, man."
by corsendonk September 21, 2009
The act of holding a plastic bag containing ether-based starting fluid over someone's head until they become unconscious, then subsequently burying them via backhoe 8ft deep in a garbage ditch in the backyard of the house they own, with their purse.
Chuck: where did mom go, off with a lady trucker?
Stella: i don't trust dad; i think he gave her an albuquerque hello!
Stella: i don't trust dad; i think he gave her an albuquerque hello!
by Proxy Rex September 12, 2019
The burning sensation created on one's penis when a man goes to urinate and forgets that he was just eating and/or handling hot peppers/sauce.
Q: Why are you crying bro?
A: I forgot all about the jalapeno poppers I just ate, went to take a piss and gave myself an Albuquerque Handjob.
A: I forgot all about the jalapeno poppers I just ate, went to take a piss and gave myself an Albuquerque Handjob.
by NewMex November 2, 2010
1. A college preparatory school located in the Albuquerque area.
2. A fortress located deep in the desert. Features many flights of stairs, arches, and secret underground tunnels.
3. A school for nerds who built pvc cannons when they're supposed to be doing homework.
2. A fortress located deep in the desert. Features many flights of stairs, arches, and secret underground tunnels.
3. A school for nerds who built pvc cannons when they're supposed to be doing homework.
by Seph Infinitum February 16, 2009
Greeting someone by spraying starter fluid into a bag and putting it over their head until unconscious. Most likely in the act of murder.
by Ares Edge September 12, 2019
This is when you go to Albuquerque, New Mexico and bang a woman, her mom, and her cousin in the same night; afterward receiving twenty dollars for cab fare from each woman to leave the general area. Good luck.
by Stachmatic October 11, 2009
Tattooing a "Sleeve" of images, or montages, on ones lower leg so that when you wear baggy shorts it gives the appearance of a having a fully tattooed leg. Very common in Albuquerque NM.
Hey did you see the Albuquerque Socks on that guy? one side was a bunch of Devils and the other was Angels. Looks like he got those tatts in jail.
by Victor Strange July 25, 2010