asking for a friend 

Someone uses this phrase while asking a question. They claim to be asking for a friend, when they are in fact asking for themselves.

"Are narwhals real? Asking for a friend."

asking for a friend by Ash1355 November 3, 2015

Askident 

A question unwisely asked.

“Did you actually ask Renada how far along she was?”

“I did.”

“She’s not pregnant, you know.”

“I know that... now.”

“What were you thinking?”

“I wasn't. It was an askident.”

Askident by PJMac August 10, 2012

nowhere near the asking 

Any result from a transaction that was disappointing.

Not getting what you wanted or expected from something.

What did you get for the Beemer in the end?

£3 large
Nowhere near the asking then! (Car on sale for £4500)

What was she like on the blowjobs?
Nowhere near the asking - about 6/10
Goose then!
Yeah.

I'm going nowhere near the asking on those Glasto tickets I'd sooner watch it on telly!

nowhere near the asking by Yesyoucangoto July 24, 2016

ASSKITTY 

ASSKITTY is an internet acronym for (A)lways (S)tay (S)weet, (K)eep (I)n (T)ouch, (T)alk to (Y)ou.

Beth: Alright, I have to get back to my lawyerly duties.
Matt: ASSKITTY
Beth: Thanks, Matt...ASSKITTY!

ASSKITTY by BushwickBKM November 12, 2009

asking for a friend 

something you say when you ask someone something weird but don’t want it to seem like you’re actually asking it

person a: "if a human and a dog conceived, would the female get pregnant and give birth to a humandog? asking for a friend."
person b: wtf

asking for a friend by mouthrat December 28, 2021

asskite

Toilet paper that accidentally sticks to someone’s butt instead of flushing down the toilet. It hangs out of the back of an unknowing person’s pants, leaving a brown tattered kite blowing in the wind.

Look at that assclown flying a 6 foot long asskite

asskite by wicked clown March 18, 2004

Asking for a friend 

Used when someone knows the questioning is stupid or embarrassing and doesn't want to take the blame for asking such a question. Everyone knows they're really asking for themselves, but they pretend their conscience is clear.

What sex position do dolphins like best? Asking for a friend?

Asking for a friend by ZenB22 November 2, 2018