A Zolack is none other than a person. A special type of person. A zolack has the ability to fuck shit up. They have the ability to literally defeat Chuck Norris. Zolack's are possibly the most epic thing in the whole entire Universe. Some people think they're Zolack's, but they're just faggots.
Jimmy : Hey Dude! My dad's new name is Zolack!
Timmy : Why? That's a fucking stupid name.
Jimmy : He literally just bought me China for Christmas.
Timmy : JImmy, I would like to have gay butsex with your father.