The slot on the front of men's underwear. While the intended purpose of this slot is to allow for the wearer of the garment to withdraw their genitalia, nobody actually uses it. Although, it is possible that someone does. It is possible that somewhere in this world there is a man with the audacity to defy the standards of society and use The Slot, despite the very real possibility of ostracism, or even crucifixion. Such a man would be difficult to identify, because of the intimate and subtle nature of his rebellion, and is likely a master of concealment. He could be living beside you, your co-worker, your neighbor, even your family member, and you would never know. How should we regard him? Should we fear him? Should we hate him? Does he deserve punishment? Who is he to defy our customs? Who is he to ignore our rules? He is just a man, and as a man he is subject to Man’s Law, which, of course, explicitly prohibits the use of The Wiener Slot. Or should we embrace him? Should we admire his bravery, his instance on personal freedom? It may be that one day he will come forward and we will permit him to remove our shackles. It may be that one day we will look back on this time as a period of confusion and darkness and say, “Thank you, Weiner Slot guy, for liberating us from our ignorance!” It may be that our very civility rests in accepting the way of this man, this enigma, this loneliest of revolutionaries. It may be… It may very well be.
My name is XXXXX XXXXXXXXX, and I use the Wiener Slot.