Found primarily in the Northern Middle West section of the United States, a highly skilled, extremely reliable species formerly known as a "lathe operator" or "foundry worker". Typically known to have paid taxes, served in the armed forces, engaged in longstanding monogmous relationships with a female of the same species. Usually producing a "family" of four children that "lathe operator" proudly sent off to college that he mostly paid for. Formerly earned $30/hr. at Ford Motor Company. Metamorphosis into "Wal-Mart Worker" seems to occur upon the onset of middle-age when "lathe operator" and "foundy workers" travel to Mexico for several weeks and engage in apparent transfer of skills and expertise to native Mexican species. Metamorphosized "Wal-Mart worker" emerges from habitat after several months after he returns from Mexico during a period of dormancy called "unemployment". Species is usually found in a red vest showing teeth at other North American species and saying, "Welcome to Wal-Mart". Species appears to be less vigorous in metamorphosized state.
Dad's doing OK, even though he's pretty depressed now that he can't do his trade the way he used to; he's become a Wal*Mart worker.
by Thinking Republican February 25, 2008

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