Top Definition
a little town off of the edge of Keyport no one kinda never heard of......it is full of hoods and poor people. It is one square mile, and has only one elementary school (k-8) and no high school. It also has a fun little beach but you can't really swim in the water because you will not get the odor out of your body for weeks. But, overall, it kinda sucks
An example of Union Beach is the poor version of Hazlet
by 3hotguylover June 26, 2005
1 more definition
Union Beach is comprised of the remains of what little dignity Keyport had, washed up on a dirty, needle-ridden shore. It is a smelly town, named after its "beach," that is, instead, a patch of second-hand sand and an arrangement of fake dolphins. Pre-Hurricane Sandy Union Beach (PHSUB) was a dump, and Post-Hurricane Sandy Union Beach (also PHSUB) continues to be a dump. Children grown here are misshapen and unintelligent. They go on to lead unsuccessful lives and swim in the filthy, green water that stunts their growth on a daily basis.
Person 1: "There's a party in Union Beach tonight. Would you like to go?"
Person 2: "Union Beach? I always regret going there. But, hey, a party is a party... and at least it isn't Keansburg!"
by TheGirlfromUB January 22, 2013

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