2. A group of 40 something pre-menopausal women who have been neglecting their children, spouses, jobs, and various pets since 2008 to post their ramblings about a dazzling 107 year old vampire who who is stuck in an eternal hell of high school and the clumsy, idiotic girl who loves him.
3. A website full of uneducated middle aged women who sneak onto the set of the Twilight movie, but "keep their distance" so they stay on good terms with the production company. However, to a Twilight Mom, keeping distance means illegally taking video and pictures from a full yard away.
4. What you get on your dick after having sex with an elf.