A machine, patented by The English Department Ltd, and designed purely to be possibly the most anti-social and hated contraption ever created.
It contains 8 million anal transistors and just under 6 million bitch capacitors.
The quirky designers implemented a function in the machine to make it teach English, and with that constantly brag about the degree it got at Oxford University; however they did not program it to mention that it was Oxford Brookes.
The Suttonator has many pre-programmed voice commands and jingles; predominantly 'stop masticating', 'spit or swallow please' and the term 'Spankage'. Everything else it emits from its 380 Watt mouth is just indistinguishable shouting and screaming.
The machine is designed to hate and be spiteful to everyone it encounters, but a small bug in the software makes it particularly fond of just a few students it teaches. It favours them above the rest of the class and showers them with praise and prizes. We still do not know today how this behaviour is formed, but it is suspected it has something to do with good behaviour in class.
The design of The Suttonator is far from original. It is clearly closely inspired and almost an exact pastiche of Miss Sutton, the English Teacher. The only difference being that the machine cannot lactate; although there is no evidence that the human can either.
Like 'Miss Sutton', The Suttonator has weaknesses: It hates to be humiliated in front of an audience and particularly dislikes people who are irritatingly cheerful.
If you are subject of this, then you may be asked to 'stay behind after class'; a cheap but effective ploy in eliminating the perpetrator.
No machine is without disadvantages, and The Suttonator has a severe problem with agility. Due to it's obscene weight and wide-birth extremities, it's top speed is 0.36 km/h, and has trouble fitting through doorways that it immediately claims have shrunk.
Always dressed in a green coat, this machine closely resembles a concorde pear, with it's very wide hips, narrowing towards towards the head.
It contains 8 million anal transistors and just under 6 million bitch capacitors.
The quirky designers implemented a function in the machine to make it teach English, and with that constantly brag about the degree it got at Oxford University; however they did not program it to mention that it was Oxford Brookes.
The Suttonator has many pre-programmed voice commands and jingles; predominantly 'stop masticating', 'spit or swallow please' and the term 'Spankage'. Everything else it emits from its 380 Watt mouth is just indistinguishable shouting and screaming.
The machine is designed to hate and be spiteful to everyone it encounters, but a small bug in the software makes it particularly fond of just a few students it teaches. It favours them above the rest of the class and showers them with praise and prizes. We still do not know today how this behaviour is formed, but it is suspected it has something to do with good behaviour in class.
The design of The Suttonator is far from original. It is clearly closely inspired and almost an exact pastiche of Miss Sutton, the English Teacher. The only difference being that the machine cannot lactate; although there is no evidence that the human can either.
Like 'Miss Sutton', The Suttonator has weaknesses: It hates to be humiliated in front of an audience and particularly dislikes people who are irritatingly cheerful.
If you are subject of this, then you may be asked to 'stay behind after class'; a cheap but effective ploy in eliminating the perpetrator.
No machine is without disadvantages, and The Suttonator has a severe problem with agility. Due to it's obscene weight and wide-birth extremities, it's top speed is 0.36 km/h, and has trouble fitting through doorways that it immediately claims have shrunk.
Always dressed in a green coat, this machine closely resembles a concorde pear, with it's very wide hips, narrowing towards towards the head.
The Suttonator: I didn't spend 3 years at Oxford University to deal with badly behaved children! I've got my degree, I've done my GCSEs; I don't give a monkeys about you lot!
by Actiasluna April 26, 2009
The town in outer London in which the Rolling Stones were spotted by a notable music promoter in 1963 during an early gig at the then Red Lion public house (now the Winning Post) in Sutton High Street. The rest is history.
But, I hear you say, there must more to the town than *just* that. Well, yes: Sutton is just ten miles from London's Charing Cross, and is a very leafy and pleasant place to be. Much of Sutton was build during Victorian times, so the architecture has the character of that era. In recent years there's been something of an influx of young professionals, whose presence has helped lead to the current plethora of trendy restaurants, stylish coffee houses and cool bars, like All Bar One.
But, I hear you say, there must more to the town than *just* that. Well, yes: Sutton is just ten miles from London's Charing Cross, and is a very leafy and pleasant place to be. Much of Sutton was build during Victorian times, so the architecture has the character of that era. In recent years there's been something of an influx of young professionals, whose presence has helped lead to the current plethora of trendy restaurants, stylish coffee houses and cool bars, like All Bar One.
PERSON 1: Are there any "hidden gem" areas in and around London?
SAGE: There were a few years ago, and I'd have said SUTTON was one. But it's not hidden any more.
SAGE: There were a few years ago, and I'd have said SUTTON was one. But it's not hidden any more.
by .l April 15, 2014
A town very near central London (just under 10 miles) that is cool and trendy and arty, but far safer and more secure than most locations nearer the centre. It is admired for being a very green and leafy town which offers a good quality of life - there are good bookshops, a theatre, an enormous and very popular library, and numerous culinary offerings from around the world. And: being just 4 miles south of Wimbledon, it is very handy for the world's top tennis tournament.
PS The London Borough of Sutton has the best set of secondary schools in the whole of Britain. Fact.
PS The London Borough of Sutton has the best set of secondary schools in the whole of Britain. Fact.
by tennis king is murray! May 15, 2014
Sutton is the most up and coming borough in London.
There's a nice little music venue in West Sutton.
There's a nice little music venue in West Sutton.
by Hip'n'arty May 31, 2014
A town that people love more than any other.
location: Greater London, near the boundary with Surrey.
benefits: leafy,cultural, stylish, trendy,arty,great shopping,beautiful parks,fine dining,theatres.
downsides:none known.
location: Greater London, near the boundary with Surrey.
benefits: leafy,cultural, stylish, trendy,arty,great shopping,beautiful parks,fine dining,theatres.
downsides:none known.
I ♥ SUTTON
by .l May 15, 2014
Town in outer London, England, near the county of Surrey. Has the best of both worlds - the vibe of London combined with the beauty of England's finest county.
Dude 1: Shall we go London or just chill out in Surrey?
Dude 2: Why choose? If we go to Sutton we can have both!
Dude 2: Why choose? If we go to Sutton we can have both!
by breathe in the air March 23, 2016
At last a place in Britain that is not overrun by either chavs on the one hand or stuck-up young toffs on the other. Its demographic is refreshingly normal and sane. Everyone seems very happy with their lot, not surprising perhaps, given the very attractive place that Sutton is - the quality of life is high here!
by breathe in the air May 17, 2014