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Turdkeeper 

Someone who constantly reminds someone of the time they have spent on the toilet while that person is trying to defecate in peace.

Similar to the word "Timekeeper"

~
Dude, it's been 78 seconds and you are still on the toilet.

Shut the hell up you Turdkeeper.

tardkeeper

a more refined definition from the word creator:
person who cares for mentally handicapped, similar to zookeeper only a zookeeper takes care of animals and a tardkeeper takes care of retards.
Don't feed the retards children. That's the tardkeepers job.

tardkeeper

person who cares for the mentally handicapped and keeps them in line
That little retard should have a tardkeeper watching him.
tardkeeper by Casey D-mack August 29, 2003