Top Definition
This phrase is commonly used to describe the means to jack-off, or as some say masturbate, as an excuse to doing something.

This term Bert comes from Master Bert, a member of Seasme Street. Which is also subliminal messaging.
Guy: Hey pal, why didn't you come hang out last night?
Pal: Oh sorry! I had an important phone call. I was talking to Bert.

You can also play with Bert, dance with Bert or pretty much do anything you can think of with him. Bert is basically another way of saying jacking off.
by macpolo11 July 21, 2011

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