Top Definition
This phrase is commonly used to describe the means to jack-off, or as some say masturbate, as an excuse to doing something.

This term Bert comes from Master Bert, a member of Seasme Street. Which is also subliminal messaging.
Guy: Hey pal, why didn't you come hang out last night?
Pal: Oh sorry! I had an important phone call. I was talking to Bert.

You can also play with Bert, dance with Bert or pretty much do anything you can think of with him. Bert is basically another way of saying jacking off.
by macpolo11 July 21, 2011

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt