|1.||THE EMBRYONIC MANIFESTATIONS OF DEFECATION|
That intestinal rumbling that occurs at the most inopportune of times, and is unequivocally indicative of a loaf brewing inside your intestinal tract.
While driving down the interstate, there was no obvious reason to take a pit stop; however, after approaching the sign that read "Next Service Area - 24 miles," then the onset of intestinal distress occurred, as I passed the sign.
I clenched my ass cheeks as tightly together as my gluteal muscles would permit, rolled down the windows, turned off the heater and radio, and asked all occupants to "shut the fuck up" until these embryonic manifestations of defecation subsided. Unfortunately, this didn't happen, as I unleashed with a rectal fury and shit my drawers!