Stomach CPR

An effective method for the revival of persons rendered semi/unconscious by excessive consumption of carbonated alcoholic beverages such as beer; Performed by swift, repeated compressions to their bloated abdomen; It is often followed immediately by profuse vomiting and feelings of betrayal.

The only way to get that drunk fuck off my couch was a viscous round of stomach CPR. He puked all over himself and hasn't come back since.