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1.
My proposed holiday whereas the male gets to choose the gift of vagina vice having to spend money on all of the typical shit that he must purchase for his love interest in honor of long standing valentines day traditions (roses, chocolate, etc.). The only reason he purchases all of this shit in the first place is in hopes that he will receive said vagina. Let's cut to the chase and go straight to the vagina.....hip, hip motherfuckin hooray you wooly nut-fuckers!
Gary: Only 3 more weeks until St. Vagina Day...I am almost pissing my pass with joy..

Gary's wife: We have been married for 4 years, and you know better than to think your getting some of my whisker biscuit...

Gary: I wasn't talking about your worn out cock holster, I was thinking of our babysitters tight hatchet wound. So, shut your fat ass up and get me another Milwaukees Best & keep it down while your at it, I am trying to watch lesbian porn...
by Gary the Clamdigger January 25, 2011