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1.
Someone who is constantly buying new sneakers. Often compulsively with the intent of wearing them. Sneaker snakes are most often in their 50s or older and have pets that like to chew on them. This is most notably seen in the Drabble family.
Wally: Hey, did Ralph get a new pair of sneakers? I bet they've never been chewed on! (starts chewing on the sneakers)

Ralph: (really angry) Wallace Keith Drabble, get away from my sneakers! Don't be such a Sneaker Snake!

June: (storming into the room) Ralph Edward, give me ten push ups right now!

Ralph: Woo! A punishment just for getting new sneakers!

Wally: (thinking to himself) Easy there, Ralph, I'll give you a foot massage later.

Ralph: Sweet! Thanks.
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 19, 2011