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1.
sh-wing!-uh-nd-a-mis

1. n. Common in bars and restaurants throughout the world, this highly mismatched pair of females is comprised of two friends. One highly attractive, very sexually appealing woman and one hideously disgusting, very unattractive woman. This unlikely pair is more commonly known as – That hot chick and her ugly friend. Sometimes however, the ‘hot chick’ only seems hot, but is actually not, being well aware of this fact she will choose the ‘ugly chick’ to be friends and/or go out with. So that while with this person, she will be much better looking in comparison.

2. n. Pertaining to a seemingly attractive, single female with only her upper body visible. She has the face of a supermodel, big, beautiful breasts and usually showing a fair amount of cleavage on display. From only the waist down however, this siren can double or even triple in size. She will likely be wearing a belt, cinched down tighter than physics should allow. Forcibly binding her upper torso into an eye catching shape. From the top of those extra wide, super tight jeans, her hips and buttocks being will explode out at an almost 90 degree angle and taper only slightly down to her extra thick legs that resemble upside-down tree trunks that lead a very short distance to her cankles.
1. Example: if seen together in public, Natalie Portman & Janet Reno = Schwing-and-a-miss.

2. I saw this amazing woman on the other side of the bar. I finished my beer and started my approach. As I rounded the corner, while working on my latest pick up line, I noticed as I got closer that she was sitting on TWO bar stools! ABORT!! ABORT!!! Walked straight past her and went to the bathroom. Schwing-and-a-miss! Whew!
by OlivePushy December 09, 2011