Husband to Hess-Ursula Malden, Queen of Marthox 7.
Father to Buxbee Malden the possibly illegitimate child of Hess and Saugus.
Kidnapped from a public swimming pool early on in his life, he was given super powers by aliens and they brainwashed him to take over the world.
"The Ballad of Saugus Malden" - The Epic poem written by disciples of the Malden Clan etching the heroic and historic tale of his virtues and vices in the great continuum of time. It is said that upon hearing the chorus of the ballad women are instantaneously impregnated with the child of Saugus and men feel the deep desire to serve in his ever reaching army.
Favorite words include: Churl, nudie, taint, Wendy's.
Also also see:
"The Chronicles of Hess-Ursula" - A short work based on Hess' hell bent mission to remove the word "please" from the past, present, and future.
Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is mean.
Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is wicked awesome.
Dude, THATS SAUGUS MALDEN!