A small, performance enhancing chip implanted in the brains of all St. Louis Cardinals players upon joining the Cardinals organization which turns ordinary players and players well beyond their prime into forces of baseball destruction. In most cases, when leaving the Cardinals organization the chip is removed and the player once again becomes ordinary but in some cases the chip has left in and a receives a new 'sabotage' signal from the Cardinals organization.
Kyle Lohse played parts of 7 seasons in Major League baseball and never posted an ERA better than 4.18, with 5 seasons of an ERA 4.50 or higher. In 2008 he signed a free-agent contract with the Cardinals, had his Satan chip implanted, and since then has posted 3 seasons with a 3.78 ERA or better, including going 16-3 with a 2.86 ERA in 2012.
by OCBrooks October 9, 2012