(1) a person who speaks of sex abstractly, in terms of moonbeams and sunsets, rather than pussy and cock; (2) someone who projects the misogynistic history of porn onto all erotic imagery; (3) a person incapable of celebrating the physical beauty of human bodies; (4) an unattractive person feigning sexual restraint, scholarly disinterest, and spiritual enlightenment in order to appear more soulful and attractive.
1) If that starry New Age Puritan sends me another photoshopped sunrise with a Rumi quote I'll burst into rainbows. "If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?" That goes for you too! (2) I thought she was a New Age Puritan so I tried seducing her with sunflowers and poetry, even adopting this mangy three-legged cat from animal rescue -- but as far as I can tell all she wants is sex because she refers to my kitten as "The Zombie" and encourages it to hunt nightingales; (3) That New Age Puritan would be terrified to know Rumi had erections. All the time. Horrible painful ones. (4) Whenever I see a solitary woman in an interesting setting I whip out my camera and try to find an angle - never know if you'll score an image that will take off among the New Age Puritans.
by The Friendliest Helper Ever March 13, 2012
by personwhoiswritingandtalking October 23, 2020
A Booby Puritan is someone who religious insists that babies should by fed breast milk instead of baby formula. Some more extreme Booby Puratans may expand this idea to replacing all milk in a child’s diet with their own breast milk, for example cookies.
Karen, the Booby Puritan, is feeding her 8 year old child breast milk. Frankly, this is disgusting, she should of stopped.
by DrAccius October 19, 2021
Really dull arty alternative band from England. Their second album Hidden is beyond boring with almost no melody or decent tunes in sight. Yet, this album was critically acclaimed by delusional critics, dreadful stuff.
Friend 1: "Hey man, you heard that new These New Puritans album?"
Friend 2: "Yeah, its awful shite isn't it?"
Friend 1: "Absolutely, let us never talk about it again"
Friend 2: "Yeah, its awful shite isn't it?"
Friend 1: "Absolutely, let us never talk about it again"
by freeflow July 17, 2012