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1.
Paristalsis is defined as a potentially life threatening condition whereby excessive consumption of white bread, particularly baguettes, antagonises peristalsis and the normative operation of the lower digestive tract
Doctor: Your son's coma was induced by an overconsumption of french bread, which acted as a sort of glutenous cork obstructing the colon, rendering normal peristalsis completely ineffective. This caused a backlog of semi digested food in the stomach and small intestine that exerted a tremendous pressure on little Jimmy's fragile little brain, causing a massive stroke. I'm afraid that we are going to have to surgically remove the obstuction.

Concerned parent:Oh dear God!

Doctor: Don't worry, Paristalsis is extremely common in france and the procedure is really quite routine.

Parent: Ah, I see. Is that why Parisians often seem so braindead?

Doctor: Actually, yes.
by boogaling December 28, 2012