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1.
Obsessive Anal Penetration Disorder, also known as OAPD, is an incurable disease that affects 1.2 million Americans. OAPD sufferers generally find the urge to stick random objects up their bums regardless of size or importance.

Rare cases involve small dogs and children and often times results in severe injuries for anyone/anything involved.

In the most severe patients, there seems to be an increase in OVPD (Obsessive Vaginal Penetration Disorder).

OAPD is not contagious; however, it is a habit that can be picked up by anyone at any age.
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Jarren: Hey Jasmine, have you seen my spanish book?

Jasmine: Um, no? Ask Tejada...

Jarren: I can see the spine of the book poking through the back of your pants; Danielle already told me about your Obsessive Anal Penetration Disorder.

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Jarren: Wtf Jasmine? Where the hell is muh pickle at?

Jasmine: Why do you always look at me?

Jarren: Cause every time you fart, the room starts to smell like pickles. Have you taken your meds yet for your Obsessive Anal Penetration Disorder?

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Jarren to family: Hey guys, I have a friend coming over in awhile... she's got a bit of a problem.

Grandma: What is it?

Jarren: Oh, its nothing much... we're just going to have lock up anything that could possibly fit up her butt.

Grandma: Oh my, it's that Obsessive Anal Penetration Disorder. It seems to get the best of us.
by cherryrhubarbpie February 17, 2011