Accidentally used as a stunt vehicle on the Garden State Parkway southbound lane. On Thursday July 2, 2009, an anonymous driver in a tinted-out Nissan Xtera SUV tried to arbitrarily prevent me from chaning lanes by speeding up next to me. I got in front of him anyways, and he took this as a personal offense against himself. To make a long story short, he had to be a big shot and attempt to bully me with his larger vehicle, probably because he has a small penis. As soon as he got the chance, he passed me on the right and swerved recklessly into the left lane in front of me. At this point, I was already braking, because being that I am a far superior driver, I could see that he was going to lose it. Sure enough, the big, heavy SUV didn't comply with his idiotic maneuvering. It swerved to the left, then to the right, almost hitting another car in the right lane, then swerved to the left again and slammed into the concrete divider at about 40-50 mph. I savored the awsome sound of the impact - the boom of the colliding masses, combined with the sharp crunching sound of crumpling fiberglass and plastic. The front driver-side wheel briefly rode up onto the wall, then the vehicle came back down and regained control. The wanna-be stunt man then got into the right lane and prepared to pull over, and as I passed him, my friend and I couldn't help but laugh histerically at this bone-head. An entertaining example of sheer stupidity combined with extremely poor driving ability. Combine that with a heavy, unstable vehicle, and thats a recipe for destruction and self-humiliation.
The Nissan Xtera is bulky and heavy and handles like a tank, except it doesn't knock down concrete walls like a real tank. As a matter of fact, it didn't do much of anything to the wall.
by Mr. Ferrari July 14, 2009