The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."