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The 24th of July is a regular day across the world, but in Utah, it’s Mormon Halloween (commonly known as Pioneer Day). It’s when Mormon individuals, bored with their own lives, dress up as Pioneers and prance around in their bonnets and aprons, (but somehow retain the right to were modern-day foot apparel). Somehow, in their dizzying euphoria, they don’t understand that they look like JACKASSES. Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s the after-effects of too many antidepressants.
Jimmy: “You coming over today Jonny?”

Jonny: “Don’t you know what today is?”

Jimmy: “No…what?”

Jonny: “It’s FUCKING Mormon Halloween.”

Jimmy: “O’Shit…there coming for us…they want 10%.”

Jonny: “Were fucking dead!”
by Morgay July 24, 2008
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