A violent and somewhat revolutionary act, whereby one takes a mason jar, a flammable liquid of some variety, a roll of duct tape, and, of course, a live, adorable, mewling kitten. You take the jar, fill it a depth of roughly half the cat's length, dangle the kitten head first into the jar (barely deep enough for it's snout to be submerged), securely tape the kitten's haunches/hindquarters into the mouth of the jar, light it's tail, and throw it at the offending party. Preferably, the elderly, for being slow... and smelly. And old.
I was sitting on my porch, and Old Man Jenkins hobbled by. Naturally, I was consumed with a ravenous, hellbound fury and an unquenchable thirst to take his life, via a good ol' Molotov Cattail. My life sentence starts Thursday.
Totally worth it.
Totally worth it.
by Kamui Takahashi November 8, 2009