A supposedly non-existent language that only came into existence after centuries of continuous plaguerizing of culture from Indians, Indonesians, Chinese, Japanese, Thais, British, Americans, Arabs, Taliban, skinheads, camwhore, etc. The Malay language, or "Bahasa Melayu", is therefore, a mixture (or what Malaysians called "rojak") of Sanskrit, Tamil, Portuguese, English, Arab, Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, & whatever shit they can copy. There are only 5 original, non-plaguerized Malay words in the language. WTH.

Malay language is usually used when

1.) asking Chinese/Indian minorities to go back to China/India

2.) harassing sexy non-Muslim girls(esp. Chinese). What perverts.

3.) cursing all infidels for not praying 5 times a day, drink beer, and eat pork.

4.) Passing national exams, after which you can start ditching it cos' it has no commercial nor international value whatever

5.) Arguing with dumb Malay nationalists and Islamists. This is considered a noble act as this is the only language these apes can ever speak.

6.) when surfing for Malay porn. Isn't it promising? Extra language, extra options? No? :P