| 1. | Lumberjack Denial Syndrome | ||
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The state of being so strongly attracted to Lumberjacks as to render the person's psyche incapable of dealing with said attraction.
Key symptoms include, but are not limited to: vehemently denying the raw manliness of chewing tobacco, jerked beef and facial hair; opposition to cutting things down, inability to recognize brilliant singing, and a feigned disdain for pictures of people eating fish. When caught early, treatment is possible and consists of housewifery in large doses. My friend was being a douche so I beat him on the head with a sign bearing the words "Lumberjack Denial Syndrome".
14% of the people in New Mexico have Lumberjack Denial Syndrome. My sister had Lumberjack Denial Syndrome. |
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