The art of defening against an onslaught of Jewish civillians with a crushing blow.
One day a jewish doctor attempted to seize a bank. Fortunately, he was sent into a daze after he was attacked by an expert of jewjitsu.
by Malcolm Turntable June 18, 2009
The Israeli art of self defense, created for special forces, and used by swat teams and petite woman the world over. also known as Krav-Maga. beats the shit out of BJJ, once you go out of the dojo.
I tried to mug that nerdy girl, she took my gun with her jew-jitsu techniques.
by biggest fw800 May 28, 2010
Jew-Jitsu - Literally the meaning of an ancient and unspeakable evil created by the nefarious Lord Guru in the days of Watanagashi. Learning this ancient art is a combination of will, dedication, and the ability to hold in a six pack of six packs. Its main focus is speed and accuracy, with a strength roll of -15 for every attack, but a bonus of +25 speed and accuracy. Hong-Wing-Jin attempted to open up a center for teaching Jew-Jitsu, but the attempt failed due to accidental...ACCIDENTAL...suicides. Watch out for those who know this art although, because it is harsher than that of a thousand pokes in the matter of .31 biolithy seconds. You have been warned.

Common sightings of Jew-Jitsu masters are extremely skinny, and can range from skin colors yellow to green, with shades of purple. Effective against toddlers, but useless against adults.
Chun: Abraham, you have been a good pupil. Now, we practice the rights of Jew-Jitsu.

Abraham: But, Master! I have not completed the late-night in-the-dark homosexual acts!

Chun: Very well then.

Marine: Hike those pants up soldier, i aint' havin' no jew-jitsu 'round my encampment!
by Terran. April 13, 2010
sensei ramen is the master of jew jitsu. it is an ancient jewish tradition, that the asians stole 1,000,000,000 years ago
Dude, i think he new jew-jitsu
by flyinghotpocket December 05, 2007
Literally meaning the "art of cowardness", is a Jewish martial art consisting primarily of giving away money. Jew-Jitsu evolved among the average of Jew of The United States as a method for dispatching an armed and armored opponent in situations where the use of money would make a attacker go away. Due to the difficulty of dispatching an armored opponent with striking techniques, the most efficient methods for neutralizing an enemy took the form of giving away a wallet full of money, checks, credit cards and bags of gold. These techniques were developed around the principle of being VERY rich.
Average Jew: I love you sweet heart.

Average Jews Girl friend: I love you.

Bad Guy: Both of you shut the fuck up!

Average Jew's Girl Friend: Oh noes! A bad guy!

Bad Guy: If you don't get out of my way i am going to hurt you punk!

Average Jew: Don't worry honey I know Jew-Jitsu!

*Average Jew Gives away his money and his woman and runs away*
by bebo February 14, 2008
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