A worthy apponent to Chuck Norris
Jesus Christ and Chuck Norris should fight!
by Loser XY August 30, 2008
1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.

2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??

2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.

And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?

Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
by XxXI.AM.NOT.AN.AETHEISTXxX April 04, 2009
A great historical figure.
Jesus was a great historical figure!
by Ilyena July 09, 2004
Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".

Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.
person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"

Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"
by Jonathon Harker April 01, 2009
the first magician to go public with his tricks, but seeing as people back then were like really stupid they thought he was a god: idiots
dude lets go see jesus christ man hes gonna turn water into wine!
how the hell is he gunna do that?
dnt knw all i knw is we look away then we turn around nad yea man its changed its insane!
by jackass_12345 May 12, 2007
an ordinary man and was nothing but an extremely smart con artist. and after he got filthy rich by exploiting the gullible for money(through religion), he was executed by the romans for tax evasion since he was a jew and jews are greedy.
jesus christ- I come from heaven in order to bring salvation to humanity.

ignorant masses- what is heaven?!

jesus christ- a magical place you to go when you die where all your wishes will be granted and you will live in eternal happiness forever and forever!!

ignorant masses- Oh Shit! sounds awesome, way better than the shithole we live in right now! how do we get there?!! tell us jesus!!

jesus christ- you must worship some dude that you cannot see, touch, or hear every sunday by going to a place called church! and you must never question the lack of physical evidence of him EVER! or he damns you to hell!

ignorant mass- whats hell! sounds scary.

jesus christ- well hell is a bad bad place where people touch you in your special place and will be tortured for eternity in pits of fire!
*pretends to hear some voice*

"whats that god? you dont like people who have things that are of value such as gold and silver coins cause it is selfish?"

"and the people should donate there valuables when they attend the church on sunday?"

ignorant mass- o shit we dont want to go to hell. see you on sunday jesus.

jesus christ- suckers.
by TheMarchanter July 23, 2009
A raving madman whose martyrdom brought forth Christianity, a deranged death cult, which, horrifically, is still observed in Western civilization to this day.
Pray to Jesus Christ for salvation or you will die and descend to the bowels of hell where you will be engulfed in eternal hellfire and tortured by demons!
by BennyC May 26, 2007

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