36
an ordinary man and was nothing but an extremely smart con artist. and after he got filthy rich by exploiting the gullible for money(through religion), he was executed by the romans for tax evasion since he was a jew and jews are greedy.
jesus christ- I come from heaven in order to bring salvation to humanity.

ignorant masses- what is heaven?!

jesus christ- a magical place you to go when you die where all your wishes will be granted and you will live in eternal happiness forever and forever!!

ignorant masses- Oh Shit! sounds awesome, way better than the shithole we live in right now! how do we get there?!! tell us jesus!!

jesus christ- you must worship some dude that you cannot see, touch, or hear every sunday by going to a place called church! and you must never question the lack of physical evidence of him EVER! or he damns you to hell!

ignorant mass- whats hell! sounds scary.

jesus christ- well hell is a bad bad place where people touch you in your special place and will be tortured for eternity in pits of fire!
*pretends to hear some voice*

"whats that god? you dont like people who have things that are of value such as gold and silver coins cause it is selfish?"

"and the people should donate there valuables when they attend the church on sunday?"

ignorant mass- o shit we dont want to go to hell. see you on sunday jesus.

jesus christ- suckers.
by TheMarchanter July 23, 2009
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37
The protagonist in the best-selling fiction book of all time.

Spolier Alert: Jesus dies.

Also used as an exclamation of shock. It can be used with the conjuction of another word inserted between 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.
1) Reference to Bible

Pastor: So have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Jessica: Oh wait, you mean that dude with the beard who's the main character in that popular bullshit book where magic happens? That one? Nah... did you hear I'm officially atheist?

2) - Shock

Ally: Did you hear Dan got into jail?
Ben: Jesus Christ! How the hell'd that happen!?

3) In conjuction with another word.

Tom: So what answer did you get for 5c on the maths homework?
Olly: Jesus rollerblading Christ, I forgot we had homework!
-----
Lolita: So... when's your birthday again?
Beth: Jesus fucking Christ Lolita, how many times do I have to tell you?
by HelloWorld121 July 28, 2011
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38
-the truth

-boy people get rattled when they hear the truth

-you know the truth when you hear it because it is immediately attacked
Jesus Christ 100% told the truth.
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39
A guy who caused a lot of problems saying things he shouldn't have. Living example of why you should keep your mouth shut, in other words, the reason his followers contradict themselves.
by Devon Kane August 10, 2006
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40
Jesus was a great historical figure!
by Ilyena July 09, 2004
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41
Many books that were written around 2000 years ago pretty much agree that there was actually a Jesus of Nazareth. He was reported to have done incredible things, even one report of him raising the dead, and another that tells of him raising himself from the dead. There was much dispute about this even then, but most open-minded people will usually admit that there were some unusual activities in Jerusalem around the time Jesus was supposed to have been here and that life on planet earth changed dramatically after his brief time in the world. There were stories found in Rome reporting many things that collaborates the New Testaments’ Jesus Christ. The question arises when some, including Paul, formally Saul, claimed that Jesus was indeed the ONLY SON OF GOD. Others would point out that Jesus himself said “you are all gods” (notice the small g in gods.) I am not one who believes that I must shove my interpretation of who Jesus was down everyone else’s throats, but I do believe that he was a very important being, worthy of study. Don’t decide who Jesus was by my words, or anyone else’s. People have their on agendas, as do churches, and institutions. Study his words, study other words, and listen to your heart. Maybe you can tell me what is the true Christ; I promise to listen to you and consider your words.
My favorite quote from the bible was from a recently healed blind man, when asked who is this Jesus Christ who had healed him. He simply said, “I know not who he was, I just know that once I was blind, but now I see.” Maybe it is that simple.
by Tony Merritt June 01, 2006
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42
Jesus Christ is a man who is the fufillment of over 400 prophecies in the Pentauch antr the rest of the Torah. Interestingly enough, the only Bible Jesus ever read was the Torah, he is even seen stanting in the Synagogue at Nazereth reading Isaiah 61.
Jesus Christ is our Promised messiah!
by Bishop Dr. Chris Bryant April 20, 2006
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