A story, usually told by one of Irish descent, that may have a clear beginning and end but takes drastic, seemingly pointless turns throughout. The story is, in all likelihood, also completely bullshit, but not necessarily. Elements of the story may also just be exaggerated for comedic or dramatic effect, leaving the story to otherwise be truthful.
Popularized by the SleepyCabin Podcast, but likely familiar to anyone of Irish descent.
Popularized by the SleepyCabin Podcast, but likely familiar to anyone of Irish descent.
SleepyCast E9
NIALL: This is how tragic my life is: My dad used to take me out fishing, and we used to go about five times each summer for years, and we never once caught a fish between us. But, like, I was so bad at it that once, I pissed my pants, and my dad was so disappointed that we didn't catch a fish and that I pissed my pants.
ZACH: Did you piss your pants because you didn't catch a fish, or were you nervous? What'd you piss your pants for?
NIALL: I just pissed my pants.
JEFF: What is it with these stories Irishmen tell? "This one time I went to the lake and...I pissed my pants, then uh...someone threw a rock at me. The end!" I don't know what it is with these stories you guys-...you and Chris are like: "This one time I was running down the road, and there was a bug, and I stepped on it, and someone...spit in my eye. I had the worst day ever because someone spit in my eye!"
STAMPER: THAT'S SO TRUE!! THAT IS SO TRUE!!! Your stories are so all over the place!
NIALL: But...if you let me finish my story, it wouldn't be so all over the fucking place!
STAMPER: IT ALREADY IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!
...
STAMPER: Oh, my God, dude, Niall. If you were a hitman, you would be like, "Alright, so I went up to the top of the bell tower...and I had the guy in my sight...and then I put my gun down and I ate a chocolate bar...and then I went back and..." It's like, what does the chocolate bar have to do with you killing somebody? THOSE ARE IRISH STORIES!!"' (Irish Story)
NIALL: This is how tragic my life is: My dad used to take me out fishing, and we used to go about five times each summer for years, and we never once caught a fish between us. But, like, I was so bad at it that once, I pissed my pants, and my dad was so disappointed that we didn't catch a fish and that I pissed my pants.
ZACH: Did you piss your pants because you didn't catch a fish, or were you nervous? What'd you piss your pants for?
NIALL: I just pissed my pants.
JEFF: What is it with these stories Irishmen tell? "This one time I went to the lake and...I pissed my pants, then uh...someone threw a rock at me. The end!" I don't know what it is with these stories you guys-...you and Chris are like: "This one time I was running down the road, and there was a bug, and I stepped on it, and someone...spit in my eye. I had the worst day ever because someone spit in my eye!"
STAMPER: THAT'S SO TRUE!! THAT IS SO TRUE!!! Your stories are so all over the place!
NIALL: But...if you let me finish my story, it wouldn't be so all over the fucking place!
STAMPER: IT ALREADY IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!
...
STAMPER: Oh, my God, dude, Niall. If you were a hitman, you would be like, "Alright, so I went up to the top of the bell tower...and I had the guy in my sight...and then I put my gun down and I ate a chocolate bar...and then I went back and..." It's like, what does the chocolate bar have to do with you killing somebody? THOSE ARE IRISH STORIES!!"' (Irish Story)
by munchiesnOOb September 16, 2021
An Irish Hat Story is a story that someone tells over and over again, each time thinking that this is the first time that they have told it to the listener.
by NightPhoenix March 2, 2011