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1.
An idiom most often used in the Southern parts of the United States. Often heard when older men or women are searching in a general area, looking for a misplaced object. They search for a good while, only to find that the object was a few feet from them all the time. They pick it up, brush it off, grin and say:

"If it were a snake, it would have bit me."
This is because in the rural South snakes are a part of life. Everyone has at least one story about the time they were surprised by a rattler or a cottonmouth.

Guy 1: Where are my keys?
Guy 2: They are right in front of you on that table.
Guy 1: If it were a snake, it would have bit me.
by Paul Wall Da People's Champ January 29, 2010