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1.
Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993

Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?

Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.

Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.

Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?

Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011