by SonofaBun April 22, 2011
by urm0mmm May 30, 2022
Yeah, it's probably going to be Samson next...
Harod "Shitshitshitshitshit...."
Guard "KING HAROD!"
Harod "AH! SHIT! Shitshitshit. Please tell me you killed it!"
Guard "I think we fucking got him bro!"
Harod "OOOH! OH! FUCK YEAH MY GUY! LET'S GO! THANK G- Oh wait... Who do I... Whatever. GREAT JOB!"
😁
🙏
😁
Guard "Yeah, man! We fucking got his ass bro! Hahaha!"
Harod "Ooooooh shit... What a relief. Hey, so... He's dead right? Like... FOR SURE."
Guard "Dawg... You should have seen me stab that motherfucker like KYAAAAAH!!"
Harod "NO SHIT!?"
Guard "Yeah dawg, for real!"
Harod "Hohoho, you are the MAN for that! Was it, like, some kind of magic spear?"
Guard "Nah dawg, just like, my regular spear!"
Harod "That is awesome bro. Here, lemme... Lemme get that. Imma mount that on my wall. 'Spear of the God-Slayer' I'll call it."
Guard "Yooo! That is sick! Am I?"
Harod "You're damn right! You are the fucking MAN! This is awesome! Hey, get- Go grab everybody! We're having a party!"
Guard "Hell, yeah!"
Harod "Shitshitshitshitshit...."
Guard "KING HAROD!"
Harod "AH! SHIT! Shitshitshit. Please tell me you killed it!"
Guard "I think we fucking got him bro!"
Harod "OOOH! OH! FUCK YEAH MY GUY! LET'S GO! THANK G- Oh wait... Who do I... Whatever. GREAT JOB!"
😁
🙏
😁
Guard "Yeah, man! We fucking got his ass bro! Hahaha!"
Harod "Ooooooh shit... What a relief. Hey, so... He's dead right? Like... FOR SURE."
Guard "Dawg... You should have seen me stab that motherfucker like KYAAAAAH!!"
Harod "NO SHIT!?"
Guard "Yeah dawg, for real!"
Harod "Hohoho, you are the MAN for that! Was it, like, some kind of magic spear?"
Guard "Nah dawg, just like, my regular spear!"
Harod "That is awesome bro. Here, lemme... Lemme get that. Imma mount that on my wall. 'Spear of the God-Slayer' I'll call it."
Guard "Yooo! That is sick! Am I?"
Harod "You're damn right! You are the fucking MAN! This is awesome! Hey, get- Go grab everybody! We're having a party!"
Guard "Hell, yeah!"
*3 days later*
Guard "Um... King Harod?"
Harod "MY BOY! THE GOD-SLAYER! What is up my G?"
Guard "Um... I don't know how to tell you this but... It's gone..."
Harod 🤨 "What is?"
Guard "Uuuuuuh.... Shit.... I... The creature, man... The creature is gone. We took him down. Put him in a cave. Put a BOULDER in front of the cave. Boulder is gone. The guy is gone. I don't know what the fuck to tell you man... He's gone. It's gone."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yeah... I don't know happened. I talked to some of his guys and they said he went to his kingdom in heaven... He just... I donno... He just flew away or something man I donno..."
Harod 😱 "IT CAN FLY!? JESUS CHRIST! WHY DIDN'T IT DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE! WAY DID IT LET US KILL IT!?"
Guard "I... I don't fucking know man..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard *Sigh* "I don't fucking know man..." 😔
Harod 😰
Guard "Yeah..."
Guard "Um... King Harod?"
Harod "MY BOY! THE GOD-SLAYER! What is up my G?"
Guard "Um... I don't know how to tell you this but... It's gone..."
Harod 🤨 "What is?"
Guard "Uuuuuuh.... Shit.... I... The creature, man... The creature is gone. We took him down. Put him in a cave. Put a BOULDER in front of the cave. Boulder is gone. The guy is gone. I don't know what the fuck to tell you man... He's gone. It's gone."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yeah... I don't know happened. I talked to some of his guys and they said he went to his kingdom in heaven... He just... I donno... He just flew away or something man I donno..."
Harod 😱 "IT CAN FLY!? JESUS CHRIST! WHY DIDN'T IT DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE! WAY DID IT LET US KILL IT!?"
Guard "I... I don't fucking know man..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard *Sigh* "I don't fucking know man..." 😔
Harod 😰
Guard "Yeah..."
by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Yeah, this is going to take like 5 parts... I might take a nap before I finish...
Harod "Ooooooh shit.... Ooooooh-"
Guard "Harod?"
Harod "AH! Ye... What?"
Guard "He... It... I... I got the guy. He's..."
Jesus "Hey man. How's it going?"
Harod "Ooooh shiiiiitah! What's he doing out of the sack man!? Holy shit!"
Guard "Ummm... I uuuuuh... Shit man... I didn't... Need it? He just came- I donno..."
Harod "Uh.... Huh.... So...."
Jesus "Yeah, what's up."
Harod "Ohshitohman... So... Yeah... You're the creature?"
Jesus "Yupyupyup-Er, No... I'm like a guy now. I mean... Kinda."
Harod "So... You're making fish?"
Jesus "Did I? Oh! Yeahyeahyeah man. Yeah, I made some fish. You had all the foods here so they... You know... Didn't have any."
Harod "Oooooooooohh.... Shit....."😱
Jesus 😐
Harod "Ooooooh shit.... Ooooooh-"
Guard "Harod?"
Harod "AH! Ye... What?"
Guard "He... It... I... I got the guy. He's..."
Jesus "Hey man. How's it going?"
Harod "Ooooh shiiiiitah! What's he doing out of the sack man!? Holy shit!"
Guard "Ummm... I uuuuuh... Shit man... I didn't... Need it? He just came- I donno..."
Harod "Uh.... Huh.... So...."
Jesus "Yeah, what's up."
Harod "Ohshitohman... So... Yeah... You're the creature?"
Jesus "Yupyupyup-Er, No... I'm like a guy now. I mean... Kinda."
Harod "So... You're making fish?"
Jesus "Did I? Oh! Yeahyeahyeah man. Yeah, I made some fish. You had all the foods here so they... You know... Didn't have any."
Harod "Oooooooooohh.... Shit....."😱
Jesus 😐
Harod *Whispers* "Ooohshitwegottagetthisguythefuckouttahere!"
Guard "Uh... I..."
Harod "What are your going to do?"
Jesus "Well I usually just kill everybody and start over but the wine is pretty dope."
Harod "Wine?"
Jesus "Yup. Get it all up in muh bloods. Heheh. Oh! And the bread! Yeah, I was telling the guys earlier that I might be a bread man later."
Harod "Bread? A bread man?"
Jesus "Yeah! Like, with wine blood or something. It'll be dope... And delicious... And soggy... Yep."
Harod 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod 😨
Guard 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod "Holyshitgethimthefuckoutofhere... Gogogo get him out! GET HIM OUT! I don't care what you have to do to get it out of here but get it there, out I mean, and leave it there. Nail it to a tree... In.. The desert..."
Guard "There aren't any trees in the-"
Harod "Make a tree... And bring it and him there... To the dessert."
Guard "Bah... Um... Ok.."
Jesus "Ho! That does not sound fun."
Guard "Um... Do you...?"
Jesus "Oh yeah, lead the way."
Guard "... Ok..."
*Jesus and the guard walk off*
Harod "Ooooo shit..."
Guard "Uh... I..."
Harod "What are your going to do?"
Jesus "Well I usually just kill everybody and start over but the wine is pretty dope."
Harod "Wine?"
Jesus "Yup. Get it all up in muh bloods. Heheh. Oh! And the bread! Yeah, I was telling the guys earlier that I might be a bread man later."
Harod "Bread? A bread man?"
Jesus "Yeah! Like, with wine blood or something. It'll be dope... And delicious... And soggy... Yep."
Harod 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod 😨
Guard 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod "Holyshitgethimthefuckoutofhere... Gogogo get him out! GET HIM OUT! I don't care what you have to do to get it out of here but get it there, out I mean, and leave it there. Nail it to a tree... In.. The desert..."
Guard "There aren't any trees in the-"
Harod "Make a tree... And bring it and him there... To the dessert."
Guard "Bah... Um... Ok.."
Jesus "Ho! That does not sound fun."
Guard "Um... Do you...?"
Jesus "Oh yeah, lead the way."
Guard "... Ok..."
*Jesus and the guard walk off*
Harod "Ooooo shit..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023