Find a partner with a raging bush, then perform anal sex. When your almost at climax pull out and have your partner poop a large plump turd. Ejaculate on the plump log to create the glue, then shave your partners bush onto it giving the appearance of a guinea pig. Now you have a pet you can kick around and enjoy.
Dude I was with some fat bitch the other night and we did a Guatemalan Guinea Pig so after sex we played around with it for hours...then we danced.