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1.
A often large and unsightly human female who refuses to let her friends get laid, not because she's a good person, but because she's evil.

The Damned fat girl who looks (and tackles) like a lineman and somehow alway busts in from nowhere, right when you're about to seal the deal with some broad, after having to listen to her garble on about Kittens and cheeses for hours.
Danny: "Dude! I totally would have got me some of that sweet ass!"

Steve: "What happened bro, did she split? she looked like she was about to vomit".

Danny: "Nah, Just as I was about to take her to the shagg'n wagon I got stuntdoubled by a guardian pig! she came in and swooped her up and gave me the finger!".

Steve: "Dammmn, you're lucky bro last time I got guardian pigged I got my shin chewed off, yeah that bitch was mean and hungry!".
by DJ McDoogle January 18, 2011