An island that has fantastic beaches, great food and friendly natives. Fact: The island has over a million Japanese vacationers a year. Very significant considering the size of the island, which is approximately 212 sq miles. Guam is overrun by other nationalities because of unintelligent and noninclusive wording within US immigration laws, which do nothing for small islands. Fact: the natives hold less than half of the entire population. A place where a severe lack of foresight and planning by the USA has resulted in a welfare dependency for many islanders. Fact: Many public assistance programs available in the US, are available to locals as well. Guam is a small island where the shit crap America is known for around the world- is most evident. Case and point- The diet has changed significantly, since the arrival of the American high-fat/fast food diet. Much of hard working values instilled in their culture has disappeared in place of the "couch potato" culture of the US. Many of the natives no longer hold traditional lands, due to the land grab of the US Military during the post-WWII era. This has led to many impoverished natives who were forced to resort to land squatting or renting. The entire world calls America dumb, except for America itself. America calls Guam dumb. Guam, along with the entire world calls America dumb. Does anyone else see the irony of this?
USA: Guam? Is that the shit hole island that nobody likes and is full of lazy, fat, dumb idiots?
WORLD: Um...you fucken idiot America. Why did you just describe yourself? Please shut up, you substandard scoring, uneducated, imbred 13 colonies hick.
USA: Fuck you! I'm a big, bad, war machine! I'll kill you all!
RUSSIA: Try it, bitch... I still have all my cold war missiles.
CHINA: Try it, bitch... You already owe me billions. I got you by the balls with my kung fu grip.
Guam: Anyone want BBQ? It's delicious. America gave me a welfare check for taking all my land. Stupid America....
by anothrdumbmnlnder January 08, 2012
an island in the North Pacific Ocean; part of the Mariana Islands archipelago; USA territory
Coordinates: 13 28 N, 144 47 E

great place to eat some mighty fuckin'awesome tasting barbeque
What?! You don't know where the fuck Guam is?
by sirena January 04, 2004
An unincorporated territory of United States and is the largest southern island in the Marianas.

Where America's day begin.
Where the sun shines first then the States.
Where majority of Chamorro people dont know how to speak their language
Where local people make more babies to qualify for foodstamps
Where outsiders or mainly foreigners are taking over their islands
Where land is so rare that Chamorros rent apartments
Where Micronesians qualify for foods stamps too
Where speed limit is forbidden
Where signaling is not needed
Where the road is so screwed up you end up in the driving on the wrong lane
Where chamorros are called "CHAUD"
Where Filipinos are called "FAUBS"
Where having 10 kids is tax free
Where the population of pregnant women are increasing
Where "Baby Making Weather" (BMW) happens when it rains
Where people drive nice cars but have food stamps
Where Guam's Day begin
by Hayi Hao! August 19, 2009
Third World backyard of the United States of America. "Where America's Day Began" back between 1940 and 1980. Has become a complete toilet in the last 25 years. It is a small island that was a Spanish possession up until the time of the Spanish American War. Was taken by the Japanese during WWII - then recaptured. The post- WWII Chamorros were very supportive of the United States and the military, specifically the Marines who liberated them. But through corrupt politicians and very incompetent people pretending to know politics, Guam forced much of her only natural friend from the island - the US military (which was synonymous with Federal funding). It sports the only hospital in the United States that has not been accredited in over 25 years. GMH has a higher mortality rate than a lot of inner city hospitals and those that are out in the middle of no-where USA. Guam is frought with so many internal issues because the people who are running it are either incompetent or woefully corrupt. The island has had a job loss of a little over 700 people in a month. That is a sobering number if you look at the size of Guam and its population. FEMA has declined any further direct support for Guam as result of local politicians taking Federal Disaster funds meant for Typhoon relief (talking hundreds of thousands of US dollars). Guams 2009 crime rate has jumped severely as a result of people turning to desperate measures to eek out an existence. That coupled with a massive influx of illegal micronesians that have started "squatting" because they don't want to live in their third world islands like Chuuk, Yap, and Ponephei. Guam's educational system is currently so far behind US standards, that many of the island schools are using text books that are dated as far back as 1983. Guam is in a perpetual state of decline and disrepair. Nothing short of a complete and hostile take over by an outside entity with enough man power will be able to force a change for the better. Corruption is rampant in every facet of living including the local police and judiciary system! Don't get pulled over for a ticket - they will take your passport so you can't leave the island! "Living" on the island is a joke - you are constantly fighting just to stay ahead. And again, if you get sick...local medical care can be boiled down to even less than their local "Sirahans" - Chamorro versions of witch doctors.
Corrupt Politicians:
Current Gov. F.C.;Former Gov. C.G.,Former Gov. R.J.B. and his wife the current Congressdelegate M.B. the representative from Guam.

Countless Senators that have been sent to Federal Prisons to serve time for taking Federal funds to buy trips and personal items for themselves and family members.

Best place to look this stuff up on a regular basis for the low down on how bad things are:
www.guampdn.com
www.kuam.com

Guam is a pisshole of an island with even more polluted beaches than Southern California!
by Fed up Chamorro August 25, 2009
An island in the Pacific Ocean that is a territory of the U.S. Guam features the highest obesity rate, and highest rate of smokers in comparison the U.S. Over 60 percent of Guam's locals are utilizing goverment benefits because they are too lazy or too unintelligent to work. The local Chamorrons are very proud of their culture. The Spanish invaded Guam in the 1600's. They killed most of the males and impregnated the fat females. Guam was also invaded by the Japanese during WW2. All the local males were killed, or pushed off Two Lovers point. The Japanese efficiently killed all Chommoro males. This corrected thousands of years of inbreading. The gene pool is slowly getting better. However, most local males on Guam possess the intelligence of a small child. The females are actually quite intelligent. Guam features the worst education in the United States. Their Private Schools are the equivalent to inner city public schools in the U.S. The students to care about their education, because they can apply for Food Stamps and Welfare through the use of U.S. citizens tax dollars.
Guam is a poor island with no gene pool
by De Faz February 15, 2010
Guam is a beautiful island in the marianas. It is known as a tourist attraction and is home to a variety of people. From the locals aka Chamorros to the Filipinos, Asians, Micronesians, and Haoles. With the many different types of food, Guam is especially known for it's local dishes. It is great for vacation because of the tropical type of weather. Its not perfect but it's where america's day begins.
All these "definitions" of Guam are untrue and rude. the fact that you can say those things about an island you have no experience living on is stupid and unnecessary. You people are little minded and have no consideration for what you say. Growing up here I can honestly say that yeah Guam isn't perfect but no place is! So before you run your mouth and make up silly accusations, think about what it is you are saying. Because it may be an "island" to you, but for the people who live here, it is home.
by verrrrrrrrr August 18, 2011
An island in the Western Pacific Ocean.

But more commonly known as "The World's Dumpster."
Guam: Back in Guam, I-
Brasil: Back in the Dumpster. Continue.
Guam: No, fuck you! So back in Gua-
Dusty: Look, there is a dumpster right there. Reminds you of the good times huh? Yeah, good times.
NBJ: I remember the good times I had in the cotton fields.
MassaKim: Shut up negro! Who gave you permission to talk? It's the whip for you.
Guam: Fuck you guys...
by BrasilStyle March 08, 2010
Guam is a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and when you refer back to it when describing the place to other people, you say it's basically right next to the Philippines but in the same time zone as Sydney. It's called "Where America's Day Begins" because it's on the other side of the International dateline, making jetlag a thing and giving students who went to school off-island an excuse to not call home.

Approximately 1/3 of the island is gated and controlled by the military, another 1/3 is nothing but jungle infested with dogs, brown tree snakes, and the White Lady, thus rendering the rest of the 1/3 to squish a ton of Filipinos, other Asians, occasionally white people with the 'native' Chamorros.

'Chaud' is more or less a term that refers to a guy who acts like the hybrid of a backwater redneck and SoCal bro who believes he is 'pure Chamorro'.

The government is corrupt because people hire only family members, the school system sucks because the government sucks, and the private schools fund all their money towards building nice things instead of funding for courses that matter.

The sales tax is already incorporated into the price, so you can bring up exact change before getting to the register.

The food is bomb as hell, but not intended for mass consumption beyond the holiday seasons.

There are 2 seasons on Guam: typhoon season and rainy season.

The main source of income is Japanese tourism.
Any student who has ever moved to the mainland would only return to Guam for Christmas break to eat and catch up with the friends who weren't so lucky.

If you attend UOG, then you're basically stuck on Guam for the rest of your life.
by stalebalale October 25, 2012

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×